I'm not the supermom I thought I would be...
I've learned a few things in the last 6months- and maybe new moms, or those who aren't so new at this mom thing can relate to me, maybe not..either way- it's ok.
I wanted to be a perfect mom- I had big plans- Nixon would be exclusively breastfed for at least his first year of life, I would NEVER co- sleep, I would make all of his baby food, diaper rash ointment and sanitizer wipes. My house would always be straight, I would shower everyday, and cook a healthy dinner several nights a week- I mean how hard can it be?! Yes- I'm laughing at myself over some of those big plans I had. So far, the only one I've completely stuck to- is giving Nixon only Momma's milk- and that has not been easy friends.
You see life happened- Nixon stopped sleeping perfectly in his own bed and momma and daddy both work full time and need a few hours of sleep, so I can admit I've given in to a few hours of sleeping with him in the early morning to buy myself a little rest- I'm not completely proud of that.
Nixon's little bum broke out from the wipes we were using when he was itty bitty so my homemade diaper ointment wasn't cutting it anymore- we used Desitin- and although his little bum thanks me for it, I felt like a bad mom. The most recent slap in the face came when I opened up a can of store bought baby food and Nixon ate it better than the foods I had been making for him. I've pushed him for weeks to eat different puréed food I've prepared for him- he wasn't a fan of any of it. Tonight, against my better judgement I opened up a container of Gerber store bought(hoping my husband and mom would be wrong) and he grinned and took another bite. I felt defeated!
Why are moms so hard on ourselves? Why is there such a stereotype for what a "good mom" is supposed to be? My precious baby is healthy, being raised by a momma and daddy who adore him, he is meeting and excelling past his developmental milestones, and he is sooo crazy loved- that's really all that matters. The fact that sometimes he needs to snuggle in our bed, and prefers store bought baby food over my homemade, doesn't make me any less of a mom. The fact that sometimes I start my dishwasher again just to avoid having to unload it, that laundry waits to be folded for more days than I care to admit and my hair gets washed about half as much as it used to- doesn't make me any less of a mom.
In my 6 months of being Nixon's mommy I've learned that what works for one kid, doesn't always work for yours, and that's ok! I've learned that your plan for being parent will more that likely go exactly opposite from how you planned it- if you know our journey to becoming parents, and the day of Nixon's birth- you'll see what I mean.
I'm saying this all as a reminder to myself, friends. Currently I'm holding my baby boy while he naps and my kitchen is still not cleaned up from dinner and the laundry I was supposed to get done today is still waiting on me- but we had dinner and I took a shower so the day is a win! I'm still struggling with the fact that it's impossible to be a perfect mom, keep a perfect house, look fresh and put together at all times, and be the image of a perfect wife- I'm trying to learn that sometimes I just have to be OK at those things. The boys in my house won't love me any less when they find out I'm not supermom.